February 9, 2012

Rambling Honesty

I never had an idea in my head what sort of wife I would be...I honestly never thought about it...(how come no one ever believes me when I tell them that?) I thought I might get married...I  kinda hoped Id get married, but thats where my thinking about it ended.  I never thought thru any details (yes, true story). Never imagined a dress...a diamond..flowers..ziltch. The Mister actually proposed a few times, twice with a ring..(they're both beautiful and yes, and yes to both) so I knew he was sincere and yet.. I still didnt plan n'uthing.. 10 years later we eloped on a camping trip to the Okanagan Valley.

Before I was a mother, I never thought about what kind of mom I would be...never made those age deadlines for when Id have babies....never had a pre-set number of babies...I didnt have much luck with babies thus far, so thinking about having my own, well.. I never took the time to think thru much of the the details..Then, in having my Bunny..I got sick..I got very very sick and her and I both were touch and go...it was flipping coins to our health day to day for weeks.. Add the cherry on top of being a young mother. So naive towards any sort of mothering rules and expectations of "planning" out her afternoon naps, snacks and the rest of her life...Now, I live happily ever after with one very healthy, happy.. very lovely and thoughtful..considerate, wise beyond her years (and the envy of all my friends) 11 year old..I am so blessed with her.

Before I had Revived Vintage, I never ever thought about having my own business...or even doing something I remotely had passion for. I got up, went to work, came home and did it all again the next day..without any feeling of pride or ownership in what I accomplished that day....The one day, I rememeber having a conversation with someone where I was asking why arent we all doing something everyday that we have passion for?! He said something about how thats not realistic and your not supposed to like your job...*smile* I felt like I was now obligated to prove that wrong.

All of my best things have been completly unplanned. The Universe gave all of this to me..Honestly, no one is more surprised than me that I sit here, a wife, a mother and doing something I am passionate for every single day. That I have the  wonderful friends and relationships I do, Im so every-single-day grateful.

"Shhh..Shhh...Shhhh. Do you hear that? Its the winds.. of change" Randal-Monsters Inc.
Change is coming for my family. No matter the choice we make, we will make it the right one..and once I know more of what that is: Ill share it, but for now Ill leave it cryptic and annoying for you. *snicker* We actually have very small control over life...theres only so much planning one can put into a plan. It will be whatever it was meant to be..because in my 30-bla-bla-bla years, all of my favorite relationships and memories had zero motive, no strategy,  no control or timeframes, no blueprints. I just let it be...and everything that turned out from there are my most cherished beautiful things.
Whatever is coming, Im looking forward to it.

1 comment:

  1. very cryptic....I'll be meandering around, waiting on an announcement ;)

    I planned nada, I'm married, 2 boys, work for the government. All of those things were OFF the table when I was 23...go figure.


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